Monday, December 12, 2011

I Wish I Was a...

I think that every person goes through a period of time in their lives when they wish they were someone, or something else. For some, this "phase" lasts a long time-- maybe even a lifetime. They spend their minutes comparing themselves to others, never satisfied with the talents and blessings they have. For others, this "phase" of comparing and wishing is just that; a period of time when someone feels insecure with themselves. In retrospect, I would say that this time for me was probably during Jr. high.

In the moment, Jr. high was truly great. Some of my favorite memories include 1) the time when I choked on an orange in the cafeteria. I mean I legitimately choked. No air in the airway. I learned on that day that I cannot trust certain friends to perform the Heimlich when under pressure. 2) The time a girl fell down the stairs (more like flew down the stairs) and landed on me with an amazing amount of force. I shook it off. She came to school with a boot and crutches the next day. 3) The time when I "vandalized" school property by carving my initials into my locker which I had a strange attachment to. I was caught red handed by Mr. Holverson. That was a very scary encounter. In the moment, I was loving life. When I break it down into little memories like this, I realize that I had a really good time in Jr. high.

For some reason, I often catch myself telling people that I hated Jr. high. I really didn't... I didn't until I looked back on it with my mature, grown up eyes :) Ignorance is bliss, right? During those two years, I thought I was living the dream. But lets face it. In all reality, people in Jr. high can be really mean, they may or may not have some serious B.O, they almost always have awkward bodies, and as a side effect of all of this, they are insecure about themselves, and wish they were someone, or something else. I think I may have been one of those people. Luckily, I didn't really notice at the time.

Years later, I can say that I have gotten over these (then unknown) insecurities and I am very happy with the person I am. Life is good, and I am more aware of the things that make it good. I have come to recognize and enjoy the talents that I have, and I enjoy developing them. But...

Sometimes, I still wish I had more.

My three biggest "I wish I was" dreams are 1) I wish I was a good singer, 2) I wish I was a good dancer, and 3) I wish I was a gymnast. These three things have always caught my interest, but I never pursued any of them... and I think that two out of the three would be close to impossible for me to pull off anyway.

Tonight me and my cousin, Troy, got a little carried away with some youtube videos. We watched one after another after another, becoming more and more intrigued with each one. As a result of this youtube marathon, I have added many things to my "I wish I was" list that I have never even thought about or considered before. Are you ready? I wish I was a base jumper. I wish I was a snowboarder. I wish I was a skateboarder. I wish I could do tricks with my bike. And most of all, I wish I was brave (I'm getting more and more cautious with age.)

Now, remember-- I have mature, grown up eyes now, so I realize that I really do have a lot of good qualities and talents. But right now, that's not the point.

The point is that these people are crazy and its mind blowing. 

Now, for the amazingly bored people, or those who just want an excuse to procrastinate-- watch a few of these videos and tell me you're not a little bit jealous. Be careful though. You just might end up adding a variety of things to your "I wish I was" list. It's been known to happen.

Until next time,
So long

1 comment:

  1. Courtney,
    Someone should make a TV show around your junior high years. It would be a big hit!! I wish I were taller so I could play in the NBA!