I Wish I Was a...

I think that every person goes through a period of time in their lives when they wish they were someone, or something else. For some, this "phase" lasts a long time-- maybe even a lifetime. They spend their minutes comparing themselves to others, never satisfied with the talents and blessings they have. For others, this "phase" of comparing and wishing is just that; a period of time when someone feels insecure with themselves. In retrospect, I would say that this time for me was probably during Jr. high.

In the moment, Jr. high was truly great. Some of my favorite memories include 1) the time when I choked on an orange in the cafeteria. I mean I legitimately choked. No air in the airway. I learned on that day that I cannot trust certain friends to perform the Heimlich when under pressure. 2) The time a girl fell down the stairs (more like flew down the stairs) and landed on me with an amazing amount of force. I shook it off. She came to school with a boot and crutches the next day. 3) The time when I "vandalized" school property by carving my initials into my locker which I had a strange attachment to. I was caught red handed by Mr. Holverson. That was a very scary encounter. In the moment, I was loving life. When I break it down into little memories like this, I realize that I had a really good time in Jr. high.

For some reason, I often catch myself telling people that I hated Jr. high. I really didn't... I didn't until I looked back on it with my mature, grown up eyes :) Ignorance is bliss, right? During those two years, I thought I was living the dream. But lets face it. In all reality, people in Jr. high can be really mean, they may or may not have some serious B.O, they almost always have awkward bodies, and as a side effect of all of this, they are insecure about themselves, and wish they were someone, or something else. I think I may have been one of those people. Luckily, I didn't really notice at the time.

Years later, I can say that I have gotten over these (then unknown) insecurities and I am very happy with the person I am. Life is good, and I am more aware of the things that make it good. I have come to recognize and enjoy the talents that I have, and I enjoy developing them. But...

Sometimes, I still wish I had more.

My three biggest "I wish I was" dreams are 1) I wish I was a good singer, 2) I wish I was a good dancer, and 3) I wish I was a gymnast. These three things have always caught my interest, but I never pursued any of them... and I think that two out of the three would be close to impossible for me to pull off anyway.

Tonight me and my cousin, Troy, got a little carried away with some youtube videos. We watched one after another after another, becoming more and more intrigued with each one. As a result of this youtube marathon, I have added many things to my "I wish I was" list that I have never even thought about or considered before. Are you ready? I wish I was a base jumper. I wish I was a snowboarder. I wish I was a skateboarder. I wish I could do tricks with my bike. And most of all, I wish I was brave (I'm getting more and more cautious with age.)

Now, remember-- I have mature, grown up eyes now, so I realize that I really do have a lot of good qualities and talents. But right now, that's not the point.

The point is that these people are crazy and its mind blowing. 

Now, for the amazingly bored people, or those who just want an excuse to procrastinate-- watch a few of these videos and tell me you're not a little bit jealous. Be careful though. You just might end up adding a variety of things to your "I wish I was" list. It's been known to happen.

Until next time,

So long

An Attitude of Gratitude

Happy Thanksgiving!

I just woke up to the sounds of a traditional family Thanksgiving. Sounds of feet scurrying, family talking in the kitchen, cousins playing the piano, the TV blaring... I'm excited to go join the chaos fun. The day is going to be filled with lots of family. We will cook, and talk, and laugh. I'm sure it will be a good time. But before it all starts, I want to make a list of some of my biggest blessings. The two biggest being my family and the gospel.

Family: These are the people I love the most. They are the ones I share the most memories with. The parents: They taught me what real love is. They support me. They respect me. They listen to me. They are the people that taught me everything I need to know... and more :) They are the ones that I can count on no matter what, and I love them for it. The siblings and their spouses: my siblings have been with me from the very beginning. They have seen me at my best, and they have pushed me to my worst. They have watched me go through every stage of life, awkward years and all. Individually, each one of them has played a very important role in my life. Logan danced with me on Christmas morning one year. I think I will probably always remember that. Griffin taught me how to throw a football in our backyard. I owe all my football skills to him. While we were in Nauvoo, Haley led me through poison ivy which led me to get impetigo and caused me to essentially have the worst week of my life :) She is also one of my favorite people to talk to in this world. Allison was my partner in crime on the one and only day I've ever been grounded. We sat in our room together for a long time. I don't remember it being much of a punishment. In recent years, their spouses have added a lot to our family and I am thankful for each of them. Rachel took me to my favorite place to eat for lunch one day. I've always thought that was so nice of her to do. She is one of the most thoughtful people I know. Matt talked to me at the end of a very bad day. I was an absolute emotional wreck, and he just calmly talked to me. He probably wasn't completely aware at the time, but he said all the right things in all the right ways. I still think about that conversation all the time. Last summer when I was in Oklahoma, everyone went out swimming except for me and Ash. We stayed home and she talked to me about life-- school, careers, marriage, and the gospel. I loved hearing her insights and stories. This is also a conversation that I think about often. I also loved snowboarding with her last Christmas :) The rest of them: Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, and cousins. I am a very lucky girl to say that I know and care for each of these people. Each one of them is a part of my life. I love talking to me aunts. My cousins are my best friends, and my grandparents are the best examples I could ever hope for. Bottom line--I have been richly blessed with a good family. I love them more than anything.
  
The gospel: Last night I slept on the futon. It was alright until 2:59 when my eyes popped open and wouldn't close again. I had a kink in my neck and my cat was taking up way more than her fair share of space. Eventually, I gave up on trying to sleep, and my mind began to wander. It drifted from one thing to the next until it stopped at the gospel. How lucky I am to have it in my life! I thought for a long time about everything the gospel has given me. As I laid there I realized how grateful I am for the Plan of Salvation and for the knowledge and peace it brings me. I am so thankful for the Atonement. I realized, in that quiet time of the night that, as weak as my testimony may feel and seem sometimes, the gospel is something that I will never doubt. I will never deny what I know. The gospel is something that is literally a part of me. I am so thankful for the strength and perspective that it brings to my life.

In addition to these two major blessings, I am also thankful for my education. I am thankful for my friends. I am thankful for service, and for seasons. I am thankful for my home. It is a warm, safe place where I can express myself, and the only place where I can burp whenever I want :) I am thankful for little things that get overlooked, like measuring cups. What would we do without them? I am thankful for the scriptures, the temple, and a prophet. I am thankful for cars, computers, and mirrors. I am thankful for holidays. I am thankful for the beauty of nature. I am thankful for modern medicine and medical advances. I am thankful for my good health and the good health of my family members. The list could go on and on. And on and on and on.

So how do I show my gratitude? I feel like it isn't enough just to say, "I'm thankful for (fill in the blank.) A few months ago in my journal I wrote,

"I am among the most privileged in every sense of the word: physically, financially, spiritually, academically. I have been given so much and all I can think is, "Why me?" or "How did I get so lucky?" . . . No matter how hard I think about the "whys," I am left with no answer that satisfies me. The only thing I can think is that I am so blessed and so thankful that I have a desire to serve. A desire to share what I have. A desire to share what I know . . . I know that a wonderful way to show gratitude . . . is to serve those around you-- to freely and generously give."

So, this Thanksgiving I want to do more than make a list. This Thanksgiving I want to show my gratitude through my attitude.

Now go eat!

Laugh a lot and be thankful for today! 

Until next time,
so long  

Nothing Better

Last April, Haley and Bennett stayed at our house for a few weeks. I loved having them here, and I missed them a lot when they left. The thing that I missed the most though, and still miss, is dancing with them.

Every morning, we would turn the music on full blast and dance like only Hazard's can. We came up with some crazy moves, and got some really good exercise :)

Yesterday, Haley posted a video on facebook, and as I watched it, I had little pains for those dancing days.

There is simply nothing better than dancing in the security of your own home with people you love.

Until next time,
So long

The Long Version

I keep telling myself I need to update this thing but I never feel inspired. I'm just kind of floating through life, which is very much driven by the daily routine that comes with being a college student. It's okay though. I think that I never really grew out of that stage where you crave routine. Routine is good, and if routine is good, then I have nothing to complain about.

My last update took place, like a month ago, so I have lots to catch up on. If you wanted to hear the short version of what happened in that time then I would say something like, "I had three really good weeks, and one pretty bad one." But the fact that you are reading this tells me that you want to hear more than that. You want to hear all the details and see pictures and stuff. You want The Long Version. Right? Right.

__________________

Okay. So October 28th was my friend, Rebekah's, birthday. I have not seen her in months and months so I was so excited when Jenna asked me if I wanted to go see her. It was so great to get to go to her house in Idaho Falls and catch up for a few hours. It was a short visit, but it did not disappoint. Any night that involves good friends, mexican food, and awkward waiters is an automatic good time.

 As I'm sure you can tell, she was overjoyed to be the receiver of so much attention. 

One night, I went to Guitars Unplugged to hear my friend Chelsea play the guitar and sing. She sang so well, and played like a champ. Her and her roommates sang "One Voice" by the Wailin' Jennys, which is one of my favorites. 

Sitting next to Sierra was quite the fun experience. She is definitely not shy :)

Last weekend Becca and Johnny came up from Provo. We had limited time together, so we decided to go to the Self Reliance Fair :) We picked up some tips on cookie making, food storage, the dangers of technology, and budgeting. It was fantastic! (I may sound sarcastic, but it really was pretty cool. Becca's dad helped put the whole thing together, and it turned out very nice.)

 This picture of Johnny is the only one I have from the whole weekend. Kind of a disappointment. Sorry Johnny.

This is a genogram I made for my Family Relations class. I was very proud. And this isn't even the finished product. My teacher was even impressed with it! I walked out of the classroom doing fist pumps that day. 

 ___________________

This all took place during the "good weeks." But then things took a turn for the worst. Dramatic, I know, but I don't know how else to explain it. It's not even like anything happened. I just sunk into a slump of laziness for the whole week and didn't do anything. Ever. And that's never good. 

Then, to top it all off, I got in my car saturday night, drove two feet, and realized I was experiencing the familiar feel of a flat tire. I got out to investigate...I definitely had a flat tire. Completely flat. I stayed pretty calm, which is saying something, because remember I was having a bad week already. And that was my third flat tire in a month. Yes, third. Not a big deal. The next morning my parents let me use the van to get to church. I drove up the street in a hurry (because I was late, of course) turned the corner, and once again experienced that familiar feeling of a flat tire. I got out to investigate...I definitely had a flat tire. Completely flat. Off the rim kind of flat. 

Kind of a big deal. Because obviously, I am cursed in the tire department. No joke. 

Luckily for me, things got better the next week. School has been good and I am really liking my classes. For my Social Work class we went to the family crisis center and organized all their supplies for the food bank. It was lots of fun and it felt good to give help where so much of it is needed. 

This weekend I went to dinner with Becca Noack. 

We also went to a dodge ball game and to our relief society activity. Afterwards, we decided to dress up like we used to when we lived together in Tuscany last winter.

Then...

And now...

I don't think things will ever change. Do you feel awkward? I do... 

Yesterday, something tragic happened in my house. Anyone who has ever used our basement bathroom is familiar with this...

My brother, Griffin painted it when he was 13 or something. It's been a wonderful feature in our house for over 12 years now. But it is no longer. 

That's right. We painted. It was very sudden. I had almost no time to prepare myself.

 I'm really going to miss this guy.

The bathroom is going to be a lonely place from now on.

_____________________

Last night I got to go to the Golden Dragon Acrobats From China show on campus. These people are amazing! My heart was racing the whole time because the things they did were so intense. I cannot even imagine having that much strength, focus, and precision.  

 Lookin good, Sierra.

 Colby, Mykel, and I after the show.

Me, Sierra, and Hannah walking home in the freezing cold icy weather. I am really going to miss summer time... 

Life is really good. I am learning a lot about a lot and I feel so blessed. I have so much to be thankful for-- even if I do have a bad week every once in a while :) I seriously don't know why I got so lucky. 

Until next time,

So long

I Love...

Whenever people ask me what my favorite season is, I automatically say summer. But then Autumn comes around, and I routinely change my mind. I love the crispness of the air, the smells, and the pretty colors. Autumn time has a feel all its own, and I love it. 

A while ago, my friend and I went to Mesa Falls to enjoy some of this Autumn weather. We had lots of fun, and the scenery was sooo pretty. Unfortunately, neither one of us had a camera... but we did have a cell phone :)

I Love Autumn. I love Mesa Falls.

It was a good day.

Until next time, 

So long

If You Ever Get Called For Jury Duty...

Don't. Forget.
That's a lesson I learned the hard way today.

I have never experienced such a rapid increase in my stress level.
I have never been so flustered about not being able to find a parking spot.
And the words,
"I'm sorry, Judge. I forgot"
have never sounded so stupid.

Thank goodness for nice people.
Tonight, I'm thankful I'm not in jail.



Until next time,
So long

Meet the Guitar

I feel funny posting a picture of myself on here. Like one of those high school girls that labels her album "*tHiS Is mE*," or something along those lines. Please, don't get the wrong impression. I didn't take it of myself, and I'm not doing kissy lips. That counts for something :) Okay, I'll get to the point. Tonight I discovered this picture on my sister's computer.

I have been teaching myself how to play the guitar now for about a year and a half. I begged my parents for my own guitar last Christmas, and I was so overjoyed (and surprised) when I walked up the stairs and saw one of the prettiest guitars I've ever seen sitting on the chair. I love this guitar, and since I got it, I have tried to teach myself some new things. My progress is very slow, but it is happening. Lately I have taught myself a couple of new songs that I really like. In this picture I am playing Holding Us Back by Katie Herzig. It's really simple, but I think it's pretty. I have had this song, along with Lost and Found  (another song by Katie Herzig) on replay for three days now. It's true that I obsess over songs that I like. Anyway, hopefully one day I will be an old time pro at the guitar. Once I've accomplished that, I'll work on the singing :)

Until next time, 

So long

Second Chance

I feel like I should make a post regarding my previous post. I had a second chance to talk to this "jerk," as I called him, and it turns out he is not a complete jerk. He, I learned, is actually an okay guy, and there is probably a lot more to him than the bad side I saw the other day. I think he just might be lacking in the tact area. He's very nice though. I probably judged too quickly.

I had to clear my guilty conscience.

Some People

Today I was talking to a boy in my cousin's ward. I had been introduced to him by a mutual friend, and he seemed like a nice guy.
After the introduction, he immediately asks me something like, "So what apartment do you live in?"
I politely respond, "I actually am not in your ward, I'm living--"
"Oh. Then get out of here." he says with a literal wave of his snobby little hand.
He's got to be joking, I think to myself. I give him a little laugh and try to continue the conversation.
He stares at me blankly for a few seconds as he leans against the wall with his arms folded. After a few weird moments, he lets his eyes drift elsewhere.

Seriously??
Ok. I guess he's not joking.
He's just a little bit full of himself
Jerk.

I slowly turn around and begin talking to someone else.

Hazard Reunion 2011

About a month ago, I was in California, camping, relaxing, and playing with cousins, and enjoying the annual Hazard Reunion. Of course, I could write extensive details about how much fun this week was. I could write about every little thing that we did. All the memories we made, and how much I love each person that was there. But instead, for all our sakes, I am just going to write about some of the highlights. And even that is going to get quite lengthy, so bare with me. Just know that every minute of every day was a blast. In retrospect, I can even say that freezing my feet off while listening to what might have been Big Foot prowling around my tent in the middle of the night was fun. Or at least a memory :)

___________________________

On our way to California, we stopped in Flafstaff, Arizona (my new dream town) and stayed in a hotel for the night. In the morning, we got ready and headed for the Grand Canyon. 

Of course, people always talk about how amazing the Grand Canyon is, but I guess I never really imagined how crazy it is until I was standing there looking at it. It is HUGE! This is one thing that I can honestly say took my breath away. It may be cliche, but it's true. 

To help you get an idea of how big it is... look at the person in this picture. He's standing on the rocks on the left. He's that tiny black speck. 

We drove all day and got to Aunt Betty and Uncle Kimball's house that night. It was fun to see them again. I think that Aunt Betty is one of the funniest people I know. And one of the best cooks. It was a very short visit, but very fun.

Finally in Bakersfield! 

The next morning was the official first day of the Hazard Reunion. That afternoon, we drove on some very exciting roads to a campsite called Big Meadows. Our site was surrounded by huge pine trees. I had forgotten how soothing it is to sit in the silence and listen to the wind blow through big pine trees like these ones. Right on the other side of all these trees was a big meadow. Anyway, we spent lots of time around the fire, talking, arguing, reminiscing, scaring people about big foot (Donnie) and laughing. It really doesn't get better than that. In my opinion. 

 Here I am recovering from one of the coldest nights of my life.

 Here are the big trees. And there is Tanner-- waaaaay up there

 Cousin love

 Grandpa retrieving his boxers :)

 He's such a good sport.

 I was challenged to make a spear out of a stick. Here I am attempting. 

This is Grandma washing Jeffrey. There were lots of "accidents" going on.

Here is my team for the scavenger hunt, and yes we did win, in at least one of the areas :) We had a fun time, and had lots of fun in the car!

Of course we had to play at least one wiffle ball game. There were only a few minor injuries.

I have always wanted to go see the redwoods. On our second day, we went to see the 100 Giants. They were incredible! And so pretty!

 I'm standing in a tree!

 Girl cousins!

Later that night we went to some natural water slides. They were very pretty, and they looked like lots of fun. If only the water wasn't freezing cold, I might have done it :) It was only for the very brave.

 My dad is so brave.

 Tough, tough people

The next day we went rafting down the Kern. My cousin Donny and his wife Alyssa have a river running company (Runoff River Adventures) and we got to take part in it on this particular day. It was lots of fun. For most people. But not all, right, Natalie? :)

While we waited for everyone else to get done, we spent our time learning about Justin Bieber and Celina Gomez. FYI they are the richest couple in Hollywood right now. I love People Magazine.

We also passed the time by playing basketball, sleeping, swimming, and just hanging out.

It was a very good day.

On the last day of our reunion, my grandma, Aunt Leslie, Sierra and I went to LA to pick Krystalee up from the the airport. After we got her, we went to eat at a Mexican Restaurant called Baja Fresh in Beverly Hills. It was seriously the best Mexican I have ever had! I still think about it! After lunch we went to the street mall in Santa Monica and then headed to the beach.

 Look at her. So BYU-Jerusalem

Yay for shopping!

 It was a long day.

I love the beach!

Overall, this reunion was so much fun! We made lots of memories, and I can't wait for next year. 

Until next time,

So long